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Cathy Binko-DeRaimo

How to become a better and lighter follower.



Every lady wants to look pretty and graceful on the dance floor. However, what will make a lasting impression on our dance partner is how we feel in the man's arms. Are you easy to dance with, or do you feel heavy? This, by the way, has nothing to do with your physical weight. As a dance instructor, I've lead ladies who are the tiniest and it feels like moving a mac truck, no offense. I've heard, from a gentleman, he appreciates when a lady feels like they are driving/leading a Lamborghini instead! So remember that your weight has nothing to do with being a light or heavy follow.


Ladies, one thing to be aware of is it isn't the man's job to haul us around and do all the work for us. As the follower, we can do our part in making the partnership more pleasant for both of you. Here are some ideas:


Firstly, SUPPORTING YOUR OWN WEIGHT IN DANCE POSITION is important. While you connect with the man, stand tall, direct your energy towards him, and maintain strong posture. It's not up to the man to hold up our arms. An average song is about 3 minutes, and if want him to give him the chance to lead us better, we can't have him hold up our arms ever and especially for the entire song! If the leader was to walk away from you while in dance frame, your arms should still be held in a frame.


Secondly, once you are in a dance frame with leader and holding your own weight, keep your own balance without depending on the man. As you move around the floor, don't depend on the man to take you onto every step. Elongate your spine and keep you head lifted high. Sometimes shoes with a shorter heel is better for balance. My female students prefer to use practice shoes with a cuban heel, not a sandal-looking shoe with high heels.





Every lady wants to look great on the dance floor - that's a given. And you might very well be asked to dance for the first time based on how you look. Trust us though - the second invitation has a lot to do with how you feel. You see, every man loves to dance with a woman who is easy to dance with and feels good in his arms! And we want you to be one of them!

One thing you should understand right away is that dance heaviness has nothing to do with size. Very heavy people can be very nice dance with, and very light people can feel like a piano. The key ingredient to lightness in dancing is actually attitude: if you think it's the man's job to haul you through your dance steps, you are probably going to be a nightmare; if you're a true partner, happy to do your part, you will dance like a dream!


Every woman aims to shine on the dance floor, and the initial attraction may be based on appearance. However, the lasting impression is influenced by how you carry yourself. Men appreciate dancing with partners who are effortless and comfortable to dance with. Let us help you become one!

It's important to note that dance lightness is not determined by size. A heavier person can be a delightful partner, while a lighter individual can feel cumbersome. The key to lightness in dancing lies in attitude: if you expect the man to do all the work, it can be challenging; but if you engage as a true partner, the dance will flow beautifully!





Ultimately, being easy to dance with comes down to taking responsibility for holding your own body, while allowing the man to lead.

There are four important factors that will make you feel light to your partner: holding and moving your own weight, being on balance, following and relaxing.


Ultimately, being a good dance partner involves taking charge of your own movements while allowing the man to lead.

There are four essential factors to help you feel light on the dance floor: managing your weight, maintaining balance, following the lead, and staying relaxed.


1. The first thing you need to do is make sure you hold your own weight in dance position. Although you should touch the man's left hand and right arm over as much area as possible, you still need to support 100% of your own weight. Try to stand up as tall as possible and project your energy up and towards him in every way. (This is especially important when you're first learning to dance and are tempted to look down). You should almost feel like you are lifting him from above by creating a vacuum. If your partner suddenly dropped his arms from underneath you, you should feel that your own arms would not fall even an inch.


1. Start by ensuring you support your own weight in dance position. While you connect with the man, remember to uphold your weight entirely. Stand tall, direct your energy towards him, and maintain a strong posture. You should feel as though you are lifting him from above. Even if your partner were to let go, your arms should remain steady.



2. Once you have established a nice connection with no weight, the next trick is to maintain that feeling as you do your dance steps around the ballroom. Balance is obviously a major key to making this happen. If you are relying on your partner to support you every time you take a step, you are basically asking your partner to lift weights throughout the dance. To improve your balance stand up straighter, hold your head up high, and wear shorter heels (especially when you are learning your first steps).


2. Once you establish a light connection, focus on maintaining balance as you move around the dance floor. Balance is crucial for a smooth dance experience. Avoid relying on your partner for support with every step; stand upright, keep your head high, and opt for shorter heels, especially when learning new steps.



3. Moving together at the same time is the third key to lightness. For a lady this basically comes down to following. If you are trying to zig when your partner is trying to zag, it is going to take energy to work out the difference. This is a lot like driving with the emergency brake on: you can still get around, but it takes a lot of effort. Every friction between you requires either a compromise or an effort. Compromise is part of dancing and you will both have to make many as you learn to dance. But it is always the man's job to steer, and everything you can to do make this easier is like releasing the emergency brake a little further.


3. Synchronizing movements is key to lightness. For women, this means following the lead. Miscommunication can drain energy, similar to driving with the emergency brake on. Compromise is essential in dancing, and both partners must make adjustments. Remember, the man leads, and your cooperation makes the dance effortless.



4. Finally, it is really important that you relax your hands and arms while you're dancing. When you are tense and stiff you not only tire yourself out, but also pass that tension onto your partner. Depending on how you are holding him, the man will usually feel tension as direct pressure which will add significantly to the load he's bearing. Try to hold your arms up from your back. This makes your arm muscles free to relax, which will keep them nice and light. One final thing you can do to improve your balance, posture, strength and endurance is to practice dancing by yourself. If you can make it through a full dance by yourself - on balance and with your arms in dance position - you will know that you have the tools to be a wonderful partner. Also, by practising your dance steps on your own, and working on your balance and posture independantly, you will not only improve the feel of your dancing, but also give yourself confidence that you can dance easily with any man.


4. Lastly, ensure you relax your hands and arms while dancing. Tension not only exhausts you but also impacts your partner. Maintain relaxed arms to prevent passing tension to your partner. Keep your arm muscles free by holding your arms up from your back.

Additionally, practicing solo dancing can enhance your balance, posture, strength, and endurance. Mastering solo routines will boost your confidence and improve your overall dancing experience with any partner.



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